Self Reliance In Kids

I was chatting with my friend and his two children studying in 1st and 3rd standard were engrossed in their own world. I was observing their activities since half hour doing home-work then arranging books and notes, preparing school bag for the next day, it was being Sunday. Just by glancing she could manage her both kids silently. I was mesmerized and wondered how many moms can handle kids in such a balanced manner! Frankly speaking kids are full of energy and willingness to do their tasks but we out of our protective attitudes help them fearing their failure. When we do not let them do anything on their own how come they would become self reliant? All love self reliance especially kids love to as they want to be recognized as an individual and get appreciation. Our job becomes easy in this passion to gain stability and responsibility with their own choice.

Self reliance is not a one day practice, step by step kids can be taught to be self reliant. A gift from parents to the children to be nurtured. As a parent we tend to over protect our kids at every step which many a times proves to be against their self reliance.

When a child starts to walk as a toddler, note how many times falls down yet ever ready to try again that's due to the muscular growth, same way kids try to do tasks when they are getting the inner stimulation to perform on their own. Little efforts though, it's a source of immense pleasure and confidence for them. Our guidance is a must and much expected thing without overpowering their efforts. Compliments play a very vital role in shaping up their confidence levels so be generous in compliments on small achievements.

When kids go to kindergarten school as a teacher I observed their disability in holding pencil with a proper hold to write being new activity. Parents tend to help making the kid's job easy. Aren't we training them to become dependent early? Any work done by a kid would be imperfect then gradually the rectifications come and finally they feel proud to show their ability in doing the tasks successfully on their own, isn't that a great feeling for us too?

Never allow kids homework to be done by someone else. If children get this small help they tend to become lazy and do search someone to complete their jobs thus in future they learn to procrastinate things to be done with a lack in the sense of responsibility. Why make the kids irresponsible by doing such mistakes?

 Ask them to arrange books and notes, prepare the bag according to time table, fold dresses and arrange in shelves, eat without scattering and spilling around, wash hands when come to dining table, clean the room, help the pets eat on time, water the plants, keep the news paper arranged at a place, keep shoes and socks properly, write in a note and read their tasks done aloud. Compliment to boost their enthusiasm levels. Small things do great wonders in the long run and as days pass by we can see a self reliant child doing his chores with ease without any difficulty just because we helped them gain practice and get perfect.

On a day when with family we plan outing, kids get ready with enthusiasm but the dresses mostly are chosen by parents. Allow to choose the dresses so that they enjoy doing on their own, whereas if we give them dresses of our choice their face dampens. Guide them but do not impose your choices on them. Their confidence level gets low.

Encourage the kids take decisions on their own. Sometimes just give imaginary situations and check how they respond to when given a task and how determined they seem to take decisions to check their confidence level. In emergency situations or maybe a critical one kids won't panic but think wisely to come out of the risk.

Failure is the best thing when it comes to learning perfectly, without making mistakes it's almost impossible to gain knowledge as well a strong confident idea. Let them fail, be a guide as kids are expecting from you much more positives. 

Kids Observe & Copy

We were engrossed in chatting on a Sunday evening, my friend's 2 year old son started throwing tantrums by rolling on the floor screaming loudly, taken aback she tried to cajole him and promised to get ice cream, he stopped instantly. Many a times we just ignore babies in our work thus to seek attention babies opt such things and succeed in capturing our whole attention. Next time obviously this becomes a tool. Underestimating kids is our weakness but the babies seem to note our pulse accurately and use timely tricks to get whatever they want at the right moment without even letting us know!

The question is why we think kids won't understand anything many a times? Actually while in womb safe from every trouble the baby concentrates on understanding parents attitudes first than the rest of the things.

Why do children throw tantrums? A thing if told in proper manner genuinely is set deep in the tender minds always gets much expected response this is my personal experience with 3 kids. We lived in rural area where every evening and morning kids were given anything available nearby to eat but certainly not hygienic and being little aware I always rejected the idea somehow and told my kids clearly the related things and surprisingly my kids never ashamed me by throwing tantrums. I always gave priority to kids than household chores in the morning. When their tummy was full they paid least attention on silly things so the babies needs must be given utmost importance by us so that they do not feel neglected .

Most of the times kids are given false promises just to cajole them and later not even considered, in such circumstances kids would show their dislikes by throwing tantrums as they can show their displeasure by behaving differently, only available way! Instead of such deceptive behaving sense we can tell them clearly our intentions so that a deep understanding is formed and kids behave sensible. Well mannered kids are liked by all but how we treat them is very important. Given importance they feel a sense of responsibility to behave decently when out of home. We can motivate them, can certainly guide to do the same by behaving gently.

Many kids have the habit of lying, we blame them easily but sometimes elders tell to lie as not being at home, or busy. these things get stored in mind and next time they lie casually without considering it a wrong thing. At times to attract attention of parents, sometimes to escape a strict punishment from parents, sometimes to be in an imaginary world where they can feel happy also kids lie. Need not take seriously but it must be explained with patience and understanding rather strictness so that importance is laid on honesty.

Our kids have tremendous sense of observing and copying. Providing genuine atmosphere to kids would be the best thing to rear our children in healthy manner. When we behave well with people around us easily kids would be motivated to do the same.

Our rearing has great impact on kids mental growth.
Mental impacts leave ever lasting impressions.

Encourage Creativity

In every class of 25 students at least two stand apart for their creative sense either in thinking or doing something capturing attention and admiration. Children get motivation through the company and environment but many are different in everything they do maybe child prodigies! Creativity is a thing which should be developed by constant encouragement and opportunities. While doing something a kid maybe little reluctant but just a small compliment and a pat on back can do wonders and make him do with full zest in better manner.

Encourage Kids

Creativity when encouraged brings entirely unique ideas and from their point of view we get a totally new concept also a chance to do experiments without fear. As a teacher in primary classes of my school experience I gathered a lot from the "Dull" called kids and surprisingly found an entirely untouched facet to get really amazed at their intellectual abilities. In lunch hour I would finish fast and gather the kids to a classroom without disturbance. Form small groups and used to allot some activities without writing so as their mind got motivation and fixed prizes for the best performance. lo and behold within a few weeks training I could spot a difference in their interest level and efficiency which seemed to grow while a healthy competition was the main cause for the self interest to outshine others. Spelling games, word games, listing words ending or starting from a particular letter were enough to stimulate their full efforts intellectually as everyone wanted my attention and love of course not to forget the prize with a thunderous clap!

Fearful Atmosphere

Small tricks make them open towards learning and automatically teachers get full co-operation from the kids to make teaching a wonderful activity! Fear deep set in tender minds is one of the main reasons for students lacking enthusiasm. Some fear the subject and some teachers. It's a wonderful feeling when these kids show improvement in learning on their own. Once fear is removed automatically they show enthusiasm. How many lessons give scope to explore on their own? Portions, tests, writing tasks, home works and even assignments are mere activities which kids do in a monotonous manner without any genuine interest to grasp. Reading aloud can be a attention capturing activity which is given least importance in schools. When children fail to understand the basic concepts what is the aim of adding so many subjects? Bag are growing heavy but mind lacks any knowledge in average. We must not only focus brilliant children.

Every Child Has Potential

Little drops of water make the mighty ocean makes sense in my classroom. Their parents who were fed up with their pranks and disobedience were surprised at the change in attitudes.  Not always strictness brings result that we should remember while handling kids. What's special if a good learner gets high marks or performs well? If a teacher is able to stimulate genuine interest in dull or slow learners then must be complimented. As far I have observed teachers lack time to do genuine things. Portion completion is a big trouble for them and somehow they become monotonous. In schools special faculties should handle the slow learners and forced to  sit in the foremost benches so their attention is not diverted. When we give them importance in every possible way certainly great changes can be spotted within  a short time!

I enjoyed my time with these special treasures by opening them with a unique key to get fulfillment and become their darling from a teacher. Every child has some special characteristics which must be identified and applied practically to bring hurdle free learning attitude in kids by the teachers. Certainly when such techniques are applied not a single kid would be left behind in studies and every parent would be proud to admit their wards in such wonderful schools!

Am I Dull?

As a teacher I get kids of all types but somehow fame brings more kids who just love to escape classes without any genuine reasons to be mentioned initially and within one week their mind lingers around me without any specific reasons. It's a special bond which brings us close all the more as days pass by automatically. Parents without any hesitations request me to be little strict with their child. In their opinion kids must be treated not handles strictly. I personally believe in reverse methods to make them my friend so as they do not run away from me then an unseen magic wand is doing all the charming jobs of making kids smart and attentive! Once a month gets over the child is enthusiastic for my classes, when a parent could not control just asked the kid,"what's special in your evening class, miss would punish you if you take leave?", "No", the kid continued, "i would miss lots of fun". Amazed the mom asked if she could be in the classroom. I said go ahead. She witnessed a group of kids enjoying their vast vocabularies in games, some spelling some just catching with the last letter another word simultaneously being innovative to get the prize fixed at the month end on performance. Also for encouraging the not so enthusiastic friends to pick up the thread.

In my opinion not a single kid is slow or dull but the strong competitive surroundings make some kids not so prompt in replying as fear of rejection, mocking is deep and natural hesitation to respond instantly makes them thoughtful. Every teacher must make it a habit to encourage the back bench students so that they feel motivated and shed their  fears regarding rejection. Generously given compliments play a vital role in grooming the attitudes and nothing works like a compliment given in a class to make them feel special!

When a teacher can punish why not compliment if it brings much desired changes!! I was always not a welcome teacher but once the dull students got good marks and showed interest in learning automatically my ideas got a warm welcome. Why hesitate in doing good to the tender minds which accept love easily!! Parents asked what I did to bring this change and I told them nothing except love. Love can do wonders.

In the learners eyes a silent question hang, "Am I dull?"

I answer back, "No, not at all, you are intellect".

Are You Sure?

Every baby loves to go to the next stage of growth enjoying each and every stage immensely from walking, talking, eating, playing around and making friends. Some wait eagerly to go to school with enthusiasm beating many a children who probably have a fear deep down to leave the comfort zone of mom's company considering school a punishment. Why kids fear school is an interesting question. I think many moms induce this fear unknowingly while interacting to kids. One kid is not heeding to mom's constantly then it's quite natural to say, "wait till you go to school next month, all your pranks would stop then and there." Though it's not intended still somewhere in the kid's psyche school becomes a place where normal activities are restricted.

For  the Independence day I was instructed to train kids within 2 nd standard the national anthem and Vande Mataram song. Surprisingly the children showed great interest as in south everywhere Hindi is not included as a compulsory language. On the special day the chief guest from America (who supported the school by funding for the destitute) was shocked when the kids sang the songs fantastically. He asked me little unhappily, "Why tormenting kids at such a young age? We allow kids at 5 to attend school." I could not say anything but it kept ringing in my mind.

I recall vividly a girl completed 3 yrs after joining school. We celebrated her birthday. She used to kick around the water can and other things while entering the school violently, showing great displeasure but gradually when I took care of her well she became attached to me. One day she adamantly wanted to go with her father home but when forced she was little sullen. Barely 5 minutes passed when she vomited and  the management had to call her father to take her home. I was still not very sure of the dramatic happening. The second day I observed her activities closely. She came inside the classroom, kept her bag aside and straight in the bathroom tried to put her finger deep down her throat so as she felt like having the urge to vomit and could be excused! What a brilliance! Amazed at her brain I called up her father and told not to give her anything for breakfast and assured of feeding her myself. When I told him about her prank he just laughed loudly instead of firing her or giving angry look. This kid especially had a new born sister so parents thought it wise to admit her 20 days before her completion of 3 yrs. The school being new she was pampered but failed to give her the secure feeling in the absence of a loving mom! She won't allow to be handled by anyone except me maybe out of fear she reacted like that. Now that kid is in 9th standard and is very obedient and sharp learner.

Kids love mom and hate to leave her for being in a totally strange atmosphere amidst restrictions on their freedom. Many a kids would sit with glum spread all over face. We need not arouse fear or dislike instead stimulate interest for learning, making new friends of their age, getting everything new, become disciplined and punctual, independent, intellect and so on. The school going kid must feel enthusiastic to start not fearful.

Besides schools must not compel a lot on writing tasks. I worked in a school which emphasized on play way methods and montessori training but once a kid admitted in school the correspondent would take a different method contrary to her promises on admission. A boy who was late learner and could not manage to speak found it really tough to repeat the things taught. Once the correspondent mam pinched him on inner thigh and invited trouble when parents came to know. On questioning she plainly refused. On a kid's mentality such treatment would bring bad impressions. Why give so much importance on writing or speaking? I think a puny hand can not hold a pencil to write much , why not train them just to say the words and later train the writing concepts?

If  I ran a school, certainly I would give the average grade to the ones who gave me all the right answers for being good parrots. I would give the top grades to those who made a lot of mistakes and told me about them, and told me what they learned from them.